Hi guys! Today’s post is about one thing: self-talk. The way we talk about ourselves and how we need to view ourselves. This is something I recently discovered and want to share my knowledge on this subject. As someone who came from past self-destructive behaviors, negative self-talk is something that came up quite often. In fact, all the time.
It was a negative voice that haunted my dreams and crept into my real-life. It got to a point where I couldn’t walk outside my room without hearing it. So this is a few pieces of advice to quite the negative voices and focus on the positive aspects of life. Otherwise, we really wouldn’t really be living now would we?
1. Build Constructive Behaviors
This is imperative. I mean why else would this be number one? The reason people feel “stuck” is because they think they have to completely erase their past. The truth is they don’t. They have to start anew with constructive habits. Even when I relapsed I built behaviors that would benefit me. To my own surprise I found, painting as a constructive behavior. It helped me drown out the negativity and focus on letting out my emotions. Now I was no Picasso but it did let me feel free and not so in my head. Another constructive behavior I found was owning a gratitude journal. After my morning meditation, I write down all the things I’m grateful for and why I’m grateful for them. This practice reaffirms my beliefs and why I am doing what I’m doing.
2. Try New Things
For some reason this is what I pride myself on. It’s kind of ridiculous. I’ve never been someone do stick to or do just one thing. When I was younger I constantly switched sports just as much as I changed outfits. Then when I got to college I started to learn more about dance. I had been an art form I’d admired but felt I wasn’t good enough for. That is until things between my roommate and I got awkward. Hence, I spent time teaching myself hip-hop and eventually got into Modern and ballet. And now I’m getting the hang of it. This year I decided that I was going to hike more often. Honestly I don't know how I'm going to do this but we shall see what happens.
3. Avoid Self-Judgement
This one’s easier said than done. Trust me, I know. Whenever I see someone do this it tears me apart. I literally want to slam affirmations on self-love in their face. It’s worse when I see someone make self-deprecating jokes. Now the process that I’ve been doing is pretty simple: let go. Don’t hold on to the story you’ve been telling yourself. Because let’s be honest: It’s not true. The truth is you are the hero to your story, not the victim.
So instead of criticizing yourself just see that you are a human being. Someone who has emotions. Accept that some days will be better than others. The truth is you are amazing and deserve everything in life. Don’t ever discredit yourself for your own accomplishments.
4. Build Gratitude and Self-Love
Gratitude is my secret weapon out of every negative situation. Even in jealousy and sadness I’ve found a sense of solace and peace when I think of what I have now. I don’t find myself wishing to be someone else. Hence a cultivation of self-love occurs. And that, my friends, is beautiful.
5. Get Toxic People Out
Yes that’s right people. It’s time to weed out the ones who are using you. Now I’ve never dealt with this personally but I will say this: the real ones are the ones who love you for you. Not for what you have.
6. Change the Wording
Now I know what ya’ll are thinking: what do you mean by “change the wording?” Let me explain. Say you have a chore to do. Instead of saying “I have to do the dishes,” say “I get to do the dishes.” In terms of future goals, think “I am doing this,” not “I am going to.” Otherwise you will never get it done. This has gotten me out of the negative self-talk cycle many times. It brings you into the present moment and directly into gratitude. Without sounding preachy, this brings you back into cultivating self-love appreciation for what you have.
I hope this helps you break this cycle. But if anything remember that you are deserving of love and inner peace. I hope ya'll have a great day!