Happy Sunday ya’ll!
Today I might embarrass my future self with this blog post. In fact my future self might cringe and want to take a getaway trip to Thailand. Then again that sounds like a great idea now. Nevertheless I am still posting this. Today I’d like to share the mistakes I’ve made on my meditation practice. Keep in mind these are things that not everyone does. Just yours truly. Therefore don’t compare other people’s journeys to others.

So without further ado here you go:

1. Consistency
This is my number one piece of advice for anything. Man have I struggled with this especially at the beginning. My mind could not understand that meditation happens before anything else in the day. Also that I had to make time for it. I wasn’t suddenly going to feel better because I wished for it to happen. That it meant taking away thoughts and beliefs that were hurting my spiritual growth.
 
Honestly though, I think a lot of this had to do with the fact that I let uncertainty take over. I didn't know how to break the cycle. I was mindlessly worrying all the time. I was trying to control every aspect of my life that it became unbearable. 

Once I made this a daily practice, it became easier. I could think clearer and life was better.
 
2.  Putting In The Work
In other words, I didn’t want to deal with my problems. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had fallen off track. That I was becoming a hot mess and only cared about school. I feared that I wouldn’t make it in my spirituality practice because I had failed at so many other things. More than that I feared change. I didn’t want to find new rhythms and tempos because it was “too hard.” 

 
3. Thinking Too Much 
I’ve sort of touched on this before but I used to think. A lot. About fears and ridiculous situations that would never happen. I didn’t let my faith and love in the universe take over. I needed to remind myself that everything’s okay. That I’m right where I needed to be.

Now I just let my mindless thoughts pass. I tell myself that it's brain working, not my heart. That my brain helps me survive but my heart allows me to feel.

There you go. I’m sure there are many more to keep track of but these are the main ones. My point in telling you this is that sometimes this path bumpy. In fact it’s perfectly imperfect. You might not have the same positive practice as the day before or feel like nothing’s happening. It’s that we learn and let go. Don't hold onto the past because it won't bring anything but regret.

With all this being said (and possibly embarrassing my future self), I hope ya’ll have a great day. Namaste.

Happy Sunday ya'll. 
Today's post will be about my spiritual journey. This is something I've kept to myself for the past four and half years. I'm not sure why I have but I have a feeling that now is the time to share the full story. Plus this is a blog about spirituality right?

My spiritual journey started in 2014. I just went vegan and was beginning to discover alternatives to curing my disordered eating and anxiety. It was also my senior of high school and I felt a sudden pressure to get accepted into all the best schools. It was ridiculous. I remember telling myself I had to apply to five or six schools. Why? I'm not sure. Nevertheless, I stumbled upon meditation as I discovered vegan YouTubers. 

Now let me tell you, my first meditation wasn't the greatest. It took time to find the process that worked for me. I followed the myth that meditation is about "blocking your thoughts" when it's really about letting thoughts pass and building gratitude. I realized I was doing this wrong when I got the Head Space app. It was quite awkward when I discovered that. 

So every morning I would get up and meditate for fifteen minutes. I would feel my heart rate slow down and realize that everything is okay. There's nothing wrong in this moment. Eventually my life started to come back together. Well, spiritually at least. I still had some mental blocks to work through. 

Now flash forward to 2015. I had just gotten into college and was feeling nervous about the whole situation. I didn't know if college was right for me. Plus it was the first time I'd be away from my family and actually be taking care of myself. This was the time I fell out of my meditation practice. I didn't do my homework when it came to the facts  of meditation if that makes sense. That is, I didn't lay my belief system for meditating like I did with veganism.

This hiatus lasted for about a year and half. Yes, people you heard me right. I didn't manifest anything for a year and half. Don't get me wrong I still did things but I wasn't taking control of my life the way I should have. 

It wasn't until the beginning of 2017 did I feel a need to start my practice again. Social media was getting to me and I was waking up feeling groggy. I wanted to stop feeling like this and clear my mind of negative energy. Furthermore my personal life was falling apart. Or at least that's how it felt. A few people in my life passed away and I needed to build healthy habits in grieving. I had to remind myself that my mission as a human was still valuable. That I could spread the vegan message, become a traveler of sorts, and still be a theatre person.

Now this was not easy because I didn't want to deal with my emotions. I felt my anxiety coming back. Hard. I didn't want to face my reality because I was used living in my own world. Also I was so used to blocking my feelings that I had to have a tough conversation with me, myself, and I. I told myself that my sanity was worth fighting for and that the universe had my back. That my hiatus didn't matter. It was more about the present moment than anything else. This idea stuck with me and that summer I began to read various self-help books on relationships and, well, being present (as if I hadn't said that word enough). I also began taking ballet classes which gave me time to think. Think about what I wanted and who I wanted to be. 

My meditation practice grew immensely during this time. I made it (and still make it a priority) to sit and manifest what I want for the day. Some days it feels it's not working but I know that it is. I remind myself that the universe has a plan for me and I must have trust in that plan. Moreover these books taught me lessons on life that I believe our society needs. 

Today, I continue refer to these resources in times of need. I find other meditations for my stress, judgement, grieving, and many others. The judgement meditations are new so I am definitely going to do a blog post related to that in the coming month. I also do META and Transcendental meditation. Now I am still newbie and will continue to be because I'm discovering new things about myself everyday. My gratitude for the world and people around me is so great that it's difficult to get me in a bad mood. Seriously. 

Like I said before I felt a need to share it with ya'll. I feel like spiritual people are seen as perfect beings when in reality we have our flaws. Including me, a person who went on an unintentional hiatus and identity crisis. Yet it turned out to be one of the best things to ever happen to me.

I hope ya'll enjoyed this story and have a great day/night wherever you are. Or to make things shorter namaste.

Happy Sunday everyone! Today's topic is something I do everyday. In fact, it's a daily practice for me. It's something I chose to do when I went vegan over three years ago. At first I didn't know what it was called until I started doing yoga and meditation. What is this thing? Well it's called mindfulness.

But the mindfulness didn't start to take full effect until my freshman year of college. After my first semester, I sort of relapsed into my eating disordered behaviors. I could feel myself slipping and needed to learn what being present was all about. Plus I wanted to build muscle and rebuild my self-esteem. Then I started following a YouTuber by the name of High Carb Hannah. Her weight loss story inspired me to cure my disordered habits and the relationship I had with myself. Hence this is when the self-love journey really started for me. 

Now I don't want ya'll to get the idea that this is some voo-doo concept. It's very practical actually. The idea is that this  moment is great. Nothing will be as good as this moment. It's beautiful and amazing. Even if the situation has negative circumstances, there are still positive aspects to it. For instance, you learn more about yourself and what you need to change as a human being. As a theatre person I know exactly what this is like. I've had experiences where I know what to work on better in collaboration and the creative process.

An interest in listening to your gut (aka intuition) came up as well. I had the realization that the person who knows what's up is me. In other words, the gut is woke. I believe that listening to your gut is the universe's way of talking to you. It feels strange at first but eventually it becomes a guiding light.

So here are some ways to help make this a priority in your life because you're important:
1. Take Time For Yourself
As an introvert this is important. In order to know what you really want, you need to be alone and let your intuition talk. Sounds weird but it works. For me it was sitting and watching countless theatre performances in high school and being like, "I need to do this." Even when I went vegan it was sitting and watching countless documentaries and vegan YouTubers. 

2.  Remind Yourself That Everything's Okay
Not matter how bad the situation is, you must know that this will pass. As someone who came from a destructive past, I know this works. Even when I was having some negative thoughts I had to remind myself that everything will be okay.

3. Enjoy Silence
In other words find stillness. Even if it's a millisecond. In meditation this is something that's discussed frequently. I often find myself letting go of mindless worrying and situations that I can't control.

Now I'm not saying we need to attend a monastery to become a monk or nun. No, my point in writing this is to say that mindfulness isn't a fad. It's a way of life. I can't tell you how many people I've seen take this as a "test trial" and fail because they were only thinking about the end product. They aren't taking in the process that eventually becomes your lifestyle. My mindfulness has led to meet and curate long lasting friendships. It's also helped the negative thinking habits I get into. It's a way to understand yourself and the world around you. Furthermore, mindfulness is the invisible string that connects us.

Don't get me wrong, it takes a while to get the hang of it. I'm not kidding. It wasn't until last summer to understand this concept. I realized that I had present problems that I didn't want to deal with when it came to my mindfulness. I didn't want to accept my reality and actually work towards my goals.  

With that being said, I hope this helps you guys understand this concept. I hope you have a great day or night wherever you are.

Hi guys! Today’s post is about one thing: self-talk. The way we talk about ourselves and how we need to view ourselves. This is something I recently discovered and want to share my knowledge on this subject. As someone who came from past self-destructive behaviors, negative self-talk is something that came up quite often. In fact, all the time.
            It was a negative voice that haunted my dreams and crept into my real-life. It got to a point where I couldn’t walk outside my room without hearing it. So this is a few pieces of advice to quite the negative voices and focus on the positive aspects of life. Otherwise, we really wouldn’t really be living now would we?
​1. Build Constructive Behaviors 
This is imperative. I mean why else would this be number one? The reason people feel “stuck” is because they think they have to completely erase their past. The truth is they don’t. They have to start anew with constructive habits. Even when I relapsed I built behaviors that would benefit me. To my own surprise I found, painting as a constructive behavior. It helped me drown out the negativity and focus on letting out my emotions. Now I was no Picasso but it did let me feel free and not so in my head. Another constructive behavior I found was owning a gratitude journal. After my morning meditation, I write down all the things I’m grateful for and why I’m grateful for them. This practice reaffirms my beliefs and why I am doing what I’m doing.
 
2.  Try New Things
For some reason this is what I pride myself on. It’s kind of ridiculous. I’ve never been someone do stick to or do just one thing. When I was younger I constantly switched sports just as much as I changed outfits. Then when I got to college I started to learn more about dance. I had been an art form I’d admired but felt I wasn’t good enough for. That is until things between my roommate and I got awkward. Hence, I spent time teaching myself hip-hop and eventually got into Modern and ballet. And now I’m getting the hang of it. This year I decided that I was going to hike more often. Honestly I don't know how I'm going to do this but we shall see what happens. 

3. Avoid Self-Judgement
 
This one’s easier said than done. Trust me, I know. Whenever I see someone do this it tears me apart. I literally want to slam affirmations on self-love in their face. It’s worse when I see someone make self-deprecating jokes. Now the process that I’ve been doing is pretty simple: let go. Don’t hold on to the story you’ve been telling yourself. Because let’s be honest: It’s not true. The truth is you are the hero to your story, not the victim.
So instead of criticizing yourself just see that you are a human being. Someone who has emotions. Accept that some days will be better than others. The truth is you are amazing and deserve everything in life. Don’t ever discredit yourself for your own accomplishments.
 
4. Build Gratitude and Self-Love 
Gratitude is my secret weapon out of every negative situation. Even in jealousy and sadness I’ve found a sense of solace and peace when I think of what I have now. I don’t find myself wishing to be someone else. Hence a cultivation of self-love occurs. And that, my friends, is beautiful.
 
5. Get Toxic People Out
Yes that’s right people. It’s time to weed out the ones who are using you. Now I’ve never dealt with this personally but I will say this: the real ones are the ones who love you for you. Not for what you have.
 
6. Change the Wording 
Now I know what ya’ll are thinking: what do you mean by “change the wording?” Let me explain. Say you have a chore to do. Instead of saying “I have to do the dishes,” say “I get to do the dishes.” In terms of future goals, think “I am doing this,” not “I am going to.” Otherwise you will never get it done. This has gotten me out of the negative self-talk cycle many times. It brings you into the present moment and directly into gratitude. Without sounding preachy, this brings you back into cultivating self-love appreciation for what you have.

I hope this helps you break this cycle. But if anything remember that you are deserving of love and inner peace. I hope ya'll have a great day!